Tend and Befriend

During orientation my freshman year of college, we had an all ladies lecture. At this gathering of beautiful women, we were encouraged to not look for our Grooms, but rather, our Bridesmaids. It seemed sort of silly to be talking about marriage when we had just graduated high school. My main concern wasn't the color of the tablecloths, but rather, where my classes were located! Over the course of the next few months, I slowly began to realize the heart behind the lecture. Female friendship is often labeled as cliché, when it is actually a necessity.

A girl talk study by the Social Issues Research Center discusses how community in the lives of females has been developed over time. While the men of a tribe hunted, the women took care of house, but did so together. The study talks about how even baby girls are more attracted to people and faces when they are young, attributing to their desire for friendship. Debba Haupert, of About.com calls this the “Tend and Befriend” syndrome.


Melissa Buchanan from NBC news writes about successful women being ones who are surrounded by strong friendships with fellow females. She has established a group that gets together to meet, encourage one another and share in their woes and joys.
Secular communities have recognized the power of female friendship, but Christian communities should be more prone to embrace sisters.


She Loves God is a forum open for those to share: prayer requests, jokes, recipes and stories. It’s a place of encouragement and of unity within the church. Accountability is an important part of the Christian walk. Though sometimes necessary, it’s not appropriate to go to someone of the opposite sex alone for help or counseling. This has been discouraged by both the secular psychological community and Christian community. Mentors of Ministry serves as accountability and prayer partners for women across the nation. Mothers who are at their wits end can find solace and an outlet with Take Root and Write.


I hadn't really thought about it much until the past week. I've never really been too good with girlfriends. My past experiences with girls were Gossip Girl worthy, including backstabbing, gossip, and a continuous dislike for each other, but a fake front. Disgusted by this, I had been wary of close friendships and had distanced myself from close friendships with girls.

I've recently began to let down my guard and to really allow myself to be vulnerable. After all, life revolves around people and I would be completely selfish to not allow other people into my life for the reasons that I had. I've invested in lives and been privileged to have mine invested in, in turn.